Magic 8-Ball Answers Revealed! Here’s the Secret

magic 8 ball answers

Did you have a Magic 8-Ball when you were a kid? I can’t be the only one who took the 8-Ball under the covers with a flashlight at night and plotted out my future based on those mysterious Magic 8-Ball answers.

Well if that’s you too, you might want to stop reading this because what comes next might just ruin your memories of a happy childhood.

Still here? Okay, remember all those brutally honest questions you asked the 8-Ball when nobody was around, hoping that somewhere in that murky blue water was a direct line to the cosmos?

Well it turns out that magical orb of black plastic was answering you with overly positive answers. Not just a little bit positive either, but two-to-one, massively biased “Yes” answers.

Take a look at this…..

Complete list of Magic 8-Ball answers:

  1. It is certain
  2. It is decidedly so
  3. Without a doubt
  4. Yes, definitely
  5. You may rely on it
  6. As I see it, yes
  7. Most likely
  8. Outlook good
  9. Yes
  10. Signs point to yes
  11. Reply hazy try again
  12. Ask again later
  13. Better not tell you now
  14. Cannot predict now
  15. Concentrate and ask again
  16. Don’t count on it
  17. My reply is no
  18. My sources say no
  19. Outlook not so good
  20. Very doubtful

As you can see, there are far more positive answers than negative answers.

8-Ball answers: More positive than negative

The totals are:

  • 10 positive answers,
  • 5 “in-between” answers.
  • 5 negative answers.

So not only are the answers heavily weighted towards the positive, but all those “Yes” answers seem definitive and strong, while the “No” answers have a vague-ish soft touch to them.

They were coddling us.

Unless of course you were one of those kids who asked grim questions like, “Am I going to die tomorrow?“. In which case this was probably not your favorite toy.

Discovering this has made me re-evaluate a few deeply internalized beliefs.

Like for one, I now realize I might not actually get a stable full of ponies one day… outside my palace.

And that means I’ll probably never be an astronaut either. Thanks 8-Ball.

Turns out… there’s actually an answer for these painful mid-life re-evaluations:

iFate now has a “divination mode” version of the classic fortune-telling toy, that features a balanced set of “yes” and “no” answers. The truth is though, I’m a bit afraid to revisit all those questions I asked so many years ago.

I don’t know… maybe it’s better to be lied to.


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