Did you have a Magic 8-Ball when you were a kid? I can’t be the only one who took the 8-Ball under the covers with a flashlight at night and plotted out my future based on those mysterious Magic 8-Ball answers.
Well if that’s you too, you might want to stop reading this because what comes next might just ruin your memories of a happy childhood.
Still here? Okay, remember all those brutally honest questions you asked the 8-Ball when nobody was around, hoping that somewhere in that murky blue water was a direct line to the cosmos?
Well it turns out that magical orb of black plastic was answering you with overly positive answers. Not just a little bit positive either, but two-to-one, massively biased “Yes” answers.
Take a look at this…..
Complete list of Magic 8-Ball answers:
- It is certain
- It is decidedly so
- Without a doubt
- Yes, definitely
- You may rely on it
- As I see it, yes
- Most likely
- Outlook good
- Signs point to yes
- Reply hazy try again
- Ask again later
- Better not tell you now
- Cannot predict now
- Concentrate and ask again
- Don’t count on it
- My reply is no
- My sources say no
- Outlook not so good
- Very doubtful
As you can see, there are far more positive answers than negative answers.
8-Ball answers: More positive than negative
The totals are:
- 10 positive answers,
- 5 “in-between” answers.
- 5 negative answers.
So not only are the answers heavily weighted towards the positive, but all those “Yes” answers seem definitive and strong, while the “No” answers have a vague-ish soft touch to them.
They were coddling us.
Unless of course you were one of those kids who asked grim questions like, “Am I going to die tomorrow?“. In which case this was probably not your favorite toy.
Discovering this has made me re-evaluate a few deeply internalized beliefs.
Like for one, I now realize I might not actually get a stable full of ponies one day… outside my palace.
And that means I’ll probably never be an astronaut either. Thanks 8-Ball.
Turns out… there’s actually an answer for these painful mid-life re-evaluations:
iFate now has a “divination mode” version of the classic fortune-telling toy, that features a balanced set of “yes” and “no” answers. The truth is though, I’m a bit afraid to revisit all those questions I asked so many years ago.
I don’t know… maybe it’s better to be lied to.